5 savvy ways to make people genuinely like you.
It’s really interesting how some people have charisma (people just like them). Perhaps it is because of their personality. If you’re reading this, it may just be that people don’t just like you like that (lol). No worries, nipa de3 saa (we are like that sometimes). This is just what you need.
Anyway, relationships are very important: be it romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, your relationship with YOURSELF and most importantly, your relationship with your maker.
Now, through your relationship with yourself and God, dealing with other people becomes “more enduring”. However, human relationships are one of the most complex subjects ever to be discussed. In most cases, the needful is easier said than done but as time goes on, we choose to learn, grow and become. Based on your personality, you may need to put in more effort, and at some point, not just for your own benefit. After all, everyone likes being in the company of loving, caring, crazy and other interestingly diverse people. Eventually, you get to reap the love back, not necessarily from the same source though.
Enough of the blabbering! These are 5 points you should consider to make people like you.
Be yourself (but learn to grow)
If you are being your sweet, annoying, crazy, loud or reserved self and everyone else is also being themselves. Chances are the people who will like you will like you for who you are and not for what they can benefit from you. It’s only a matter of time and seasons. The sifting will be done and the ones who remain will be worth keeping. Also, remember that you may also be chosen by the right people as friends. It goes both ways. The more you pretend to be who you’re not, the easy it is to become a people-pleaser. You soon lose your magic. Strive to be better, to work on yourself as an individual emotionally and psychologically.
Smile often and genuinely care about others.
No one was born to just have wrinkled or smiley faces their whole life though some people may be more susceptible to smile or frown. If the latter describes you, make a conscious effort to smile more often irrespective of circumstances. Lighten up, dear. Sometimes you’ve got to laugh at serious situations as an act of faith. It makes you look and eventually be more welcoming. Why do you think many customer service people smile even when dealing with a difficult client?
Well, there’s a difference between genuinely caring about others and prying on the personal issues of others. Genuine interest, usually at the beginning stays in the present. Don’t go asking about rumours you heard about them; whether positive or negative. Give brief compliments, checking-up, and of course, smiling. It goes both ways. It takes two to tango, right? It’s only a matter of time for the relationship to grow. Don’t force things. Just keep communicating. Create that comfortable ambience.
Talk more about their interests and listen to them speak with passion.
It’s only a matter of time, you’ll get to know their interests and fortunately, you might have the same interests. Not everyone will like you so don’t force things. Acquaintances are also people, you know (lol. There are levels, that’s all). You might still learn a thing or two from them and vice versa. A good way for people to know that you’re following the conversation is when you ask questions and your posture. Don’t be tempted to fake it o.
What is more fulfilling than helping others, when you have the means to do so, with wisdom. Of course with wisdom because some issues are really delicate. In as much as you want to be a go-to-person or solution centre at times, you don’t want to constantly be milked by people who are or become overdependent. A part of being resourceful is also directing them to other people who would be able to help them best or giving them options on how they can work it out. Sometimes too, they just need your time and attention for a while, NOT ADVICE.
Now be careful on giving advice. Options are better. Your advice may backfire and they may blame you for it. What worked /works for you might not work for them.
Admit your mistakes when you make them and be candid in expressing yourself.
Easier said than done, I know. Your ability or better still willing to admit your mistakes may stem from your personality or upbringing or just mere stubbornness and progress can be slow. There’s nothing wrong about being wrong, at all because that’s how we learn the right things. If you insist on being right all the time (no one is ever right all the time!), people’s views begin to diminish in your eyes. Everyone likes to be heard and appreciated, even if they might not be making sense and you are actually right. Admitting that you are wrong shows humility and honesty. People like that.
So, chances are, many people are still not going to like you or are going to fake it. It’s normal so you’d better like yourself so much that it spills over naturally. Be yourself, have fun and enjoy your own company. You deserve to apply all these points to yourself too. Your relationship with yourself can be that great too. In any way, relationships involve sacrifice. To make someone willing to scratch your back, you’ve got to show them you’ve got their back too.