Why we fail

9 shocking reasons why we fail


Sometimes the uncertainties of life have nothing to do with our ability to prepare, to plan and to take the necessary action. Some say, “Life is made up of ups and downs”. Others call it, “Mountains and valleys”. I call it, “perspective and determination to level the ground”. We grow, we learn, we evolve and develop at our own pace. Why we fail stems from our perspective.

Think of that one thing you’ve had on your to-do-list for a long time. Why haven’t you achieved it just yet? Dwelling on past failures? Naysayers got to you? Don’t think it’s for you or you simply don’t have the courage to do it? Hmm… The reason why we fail is this;

  Basically, you are who you think you are, you deserve what you think you deserve and go for what you think you are worth, consciously or unconsciously.

I picked up a few lessons this year that I’d like to share.


  1. It’s okay NOT to be in control of everything, we fail and grow.

Sometimes being in total control of everything around you limits your thought process. Your ability to learn more and to gain interesting perspectives from other people stifles you. Worse still, you may develop the i-know-it-all-attitude. It is absolutely normal to admit that you do not have knowledge of something and ask to be thought or enquire about it. Sometimes, it’s good to have that “i-don’t-care-attitude”. It helps you remain calm and think objectively concerning an issue.


  1. You’re too hard on yourself WHEN you stumble, that’s why you fail.


The WHEN is in caps because it’s inevitable to make mistakes daily. And if you’re going to beat yourself up for them daily, you probably should find a way to make money out of it!

The problem here is that we’re likely to repeat mistakes that we don’t learn from or mistakes we know but are not ready to take the necessary action.

The truth is, we usually realize amazing things we may have missed earlier when we stumble.


  1. I always say, “Don’t let your badge of honour read, I’m introvert or extrovert”.

For each stage of life, you may need to exhibit some introvert or extrovert qualities. By all means, know yourself; your strengths and weaknesses but don’t limit yourself. Speak up when you have to, and shut up when you have to. Balance is essential as long as you don’t lose yourself by trying to fit with naturally outgoing or introverted people. There are definitely moments you switch back to neutral mode, which is excellent.  lol.

READ ALSO: 10 ways to be the best version of yourself

  1. Take time to do nothing sometimes.

Let out some steam. Just have some time alone. Close your eyes and dream like a child who is being told an adventurous story. Imagine starring in the best movie you’ve ever watched. Lie down on your back and stare into space, just breathe and dream.

But remember that there’s more rest after death. Don’t get too hooked up and become eternally laid back.

  1. What will they say or think? That’s why we fail.

Take charge

This disease is a silent killer. Everything we do and how we do them has an influence on other people. Our fear of what people will think of us and what they will say stops us in our tracks to even dreaming, let alone trying. We begin to imagine problems that don’t exist even before we get to that stage. As the saying goes, “No pain, no gain”. There’s always a price to pay, a sacrifice to make and a consequence that only you can reap. Some people were made to speak, either good or bad. People help shape you, they don’t determine your destination. Only God does. Everyone is thinking about themselves o…..Conclude your own story wai….



  1. It’s okay NOT to want something everyone wants-Persist, don’t give up too soon.

stand out

 In our bid to be accepted by everyone, we sometimes do things that we wouldn’t normally do. Cast your mind back to the last thing you did or said that was so “not you”? I know right, it kind of felt nice though. It’s ok to be the weird, unique you. That thing that makes you unique erhh…keep it otherwise you’ll end up being like everybody else. That’s the problem. You don’t stand out when you do that, for all the right reasons, I mean.

Persist if that is your dream, go for it and soon everyone will come around.

  1. It’s okay to say NO without giving an explanation- That’s why we fail.

I realized, chances are, the more you entertain an idea and constantly argue with someone why it should or should not be, the greater the influence in changing your views.

First, the idea sounds terrible, then you loosen it up with, “we’re human, things happen”. If you don’t subscribe to it, let it be clear and cut out all the arguments, unless of course, you decide to change your mind. Keep your boundaries and respect them as you would people who you admire. It has a way of rubbing off on others.

This does not mean you should not take advice. It’s a recipe for failure. Take advice that builds you up instead of arguing all the time.

  1. People fail genuinely- don’t depend too much on them.

You want something, go for it. Have a plan B. People just can’t help it, circumstances change. Don’t take it the hard way. We act the best way we can until we know better. At the time we are doing or saying them, we thought we had it all together. People help but you determine the outcome by your persistence and determination.

A man who has failed many times in the past could be the best person to learn from.

Now, you tell me why you fail?

RELATED: 10 reasons why you fail


  1. The “I-can-do-it-all-by-myself”/ “I-know-it-all” attitude-THAT IS WHY WE FAIL.

Build relationships; in all areas of your life, professionally, love relationships, and so on. Then build others with the little you know. You do not know anything at all. No man who ever succeeded alone.

Akan proverb

Is there someone you look up to? Someone, you admire? A mentor perhaps? Friends, who build you up? There’s too much stress in doing it all alone that it becomes difficult to focus on that one area that you best fit in. It’s great to have it all going but why bother to know and do everything when you can count on people who are naturals? This is exactly how and why we fail.


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November 5, 2020
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Written by:

A believer, freelance writer, and kingdom blogger. I believe in bringing out the best in who God has made you be.


  • Wendy

    It’s the number 5 for me
    “… Conclude your own story wai…” 🥂

    November 21, 2020
  • Wendy

    Very great piece, Emmanuella

    November 21, 2020
  • Esther.

    Great piece.

    November 21, 2020

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