5 essential reasons why character matters: The Amplified Version
Character is like a shadow. It follows you everywhere you go. No matter how much you try to hide it, it won’t take long to be found out. Character matters.
There is this local Akan proverb that says, “Character is like pregnancy. It cannot be hidden forever”.
You don’t need to have any cultural, societal or religious standard to know that a person’s character stinks.
Your face mirrors the mood of the other person.
– Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence)
I think you probably have an idea by now, why people react to you the way they do. If you’re still at bay, then consider looking in the mirror or recording and listening to yourself when you speak.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.
The relationship and Impact Nexus
Relationships are key in making impact, in walking in your purpose. Relationships build networks and help you connect. You can’t do away with this…. I mean, at all.
The family needs this, sigh, that is why charity indeed, has to begin at home. Employers and employees thrive more on this than on skills set. Lovers need character in consistent doses to build trust. Governments need this in stable doses to properly steer the affairs of the citizenry. Society needs this to override the psychopaths in our midst.
This teaches responsibility, accountability, promotes a good reputation and can ultimately lead to success.
These are the building blocks of society. Arguably, many societal problems can be traced to the family system, where character should have been built.
Interestingly, it takes a collective effort to succeed and success is progressive.
Let’s check this scenario out:
Writers are emotional, speakers have to be outgoing, bosses have to be tough to get the job done and so on. That’s good. These may be necessary but not conclusive.
Guess the common denominator… Bam! People. Emotional intelligence is key.
“The one who has made it alone is the one who has impacted no one…”
It’s pointless to avoid talking about a matter that has been with us from the prehistoric era and will be with us till the end of the age.
The subject of character has been a well-researched field by many psychologists so there’s no need going into the facts and figures.
What is Character?
Character, according to me, is the real you, not what people perceive you to be or how you act in the midst of people. The latter is personality.
Yeah, writing about this may seem to be a little discomforting but definitely worth it.
Now, let’s get real here: Why Character matters
Just to clear some air, this is not a call to act all-knowing or perfect at all.
I’ve heard way too many people make this shocking remark, “That’s just how I am” or “That’s how I behave when I’m …………..” or “That’s how it is, take it or leave it”.
If you have ever said that about yourself in a negative light, then it’s time to rewind.
I know what we all say or think sometimes.
“My environment is toxic, my parents were or are abusive, I don’t even know my parents, I was rejected, I’ve had too many bad breaks in life”.
I have tried to do something about it. I have prayed and fasted time and again.
As long as you’re not willing to make that change by putting in practical measures, you’ll remain in the same spot. God works through co-operation with man. Get up, shake off the dust and make that move! It’ll take time, but it’s worth the wait!
There are many success stories that were worse. There is nothing God cannot do. Yours is no exception.
It’s funny how building bad habits and associations is much easier but it takes more consciousness and effort to kick them out.
Good vs. Bad
It’s cool to accept the good principles, morals and habits that you have, realize the negatives and be willing to work on them.
What am I driving at?
We know ourselves better than anyone else does. We know all too well the things that aren’t cool about our character. We are also well aware of the fact that we have free will and are responsible for our choices.
Actually, it takes almost no effort in how you feel, at the moment. That’s the neutral mode and we take solace in this cliché, “We’re human”. This soon becomes a norm and we become comfortable. After a reasonable period of time, we claim, “That’s how I am”. Character matters!
Cut ‘em off before they cut you off! Get professional help if you need to. Those who always make excuses never accomplish anything in life.
It’s okay to stick to your good personal values. Sadly, many people are made to feel weird by society for keeping good values so they succumb, just to fit into society.
Character traits were studied and categorized by people to help us understand each other better not studied for us to identify and ground ourselves in any one of them.
- You enjoy peace of mind and are confident.
- You build trust in your relationships and are responsible (family, leadership, love).
- You are less stressed and healthier.
- You build and sustain strong, genuine networks that help you achieve your purpose in life.
- You make a positive impact and become a man of value.
The real you
Purpose is all about others,
You’ll need to connect,
You’ll need to sustain connections,
You’ll need to model and to be modelled,
But you need to be the real you,
You’ll need to appropriate actions in their right context,
You’ll need to reach higher,
But not lose sight of your foundation,
As you peak into the future,
You’ll still not be perfect,
But you need to be the real you,
So, who are you, really? Does your character matter?